80 replies to this topic

[Jim J]

The men of the square table have the job to deem what is manly, and what is not manly in common male situations.

We here, need to decide what is manly and what is not manly in common smallmouth bass fishing situations.

Post your “Smallmouth Man Laws” here and we will publish a list of the best ones in the newsletter:

1. Man shall not go directly to a spot shown by another man the day after being shown said spot.
2.

[Tim Smith]

The men of the square table have the job to deem what is manly, and what is not manly in common male situations.

We here, need to decide what is manly and what is not manly in common smallmouth bass fishing situations.

Post your “Smallmouth Man Laws” here and we will publish a list of the best ones in the newsletter:

1. Man shall not go directly to a spot shown by another man the day after being shown said spot.
2. Man who takes another man fishing to a spot where neither man catches fish, shall provide his guest enough beer to forget that any such fishing trip ever occurred.

[Steve S.]

LOL!

I was fully prepared for one of these man laws to include a reference to "crap plants".

[jude]

On road trips, with the duration being more than 45 minutes, but less than two hours, the purchase of breakfast for the driver by the passenger shall be acceptable in lieu of gas money. Said breakfast purchase shall include tip. The role of driver/passenger shall alternate each time the same participants embark on similar length trips. The only exception to this rule shall be when one participant drives a Fiero, LeCar or a Gremlin, in which case that participant, in lieu of EVER driving, shall buy breakfast, lunch, dinner and alcoholic beverages of the driver's choice.

[Mike Clifford]

Man Law #17:

No man shall photograph any smallmouth estimated to be under 14" (and subsequently post it on all your favorite fishing forums).
Just tell us about it- we believe you.


Eric- I recently upgraded to the latest Firefox version, and it comes with this really annoying spell checker that puts a red line under misspelled words as I type them.
Smallmouth is one of them....LOL
BTW- anyone know how to turn that damn thing off?

[Scott F]

Man Law #17:

No man shall photograph any smallmouth estimated to be under 14" (and subsequently post it on all your favorite fishing forums).
Just tell us about it- we believe you.

Good one Mike!

[Scott F]

At no time is it ever permissable to use the term "rubber worm".

[Mike Clifford]

Man Law #20:

In addition to Scott's Man-Law..
If you are using a certain live bait- they are not called "worms"- they are crawlers.
"Worms" are made of a plasticized substance and come from a pre-determined mold, should always be "watermelon w/red flake" and attached to a Gamakatzu hook.
Man-Law!

[Steve S.]

I hereby proclaim that Dick G broke Man Law #5 on 11-08-06. He claims that he did not know of such law. He was then told of this topic thread and given a warning.

What is the penalty for a second offense? Wet wading in Oswego?

[rich mc]

who is going to put this together for an article. who ever does this gets one more cast after he says last cast , if it a great article he gets two casts

[Mark K]

a Fiero, LeCar or a Gremlin

I propose an amendment to this law based on irrelevance. Most of these vehicles are extinct. The only vehicles exempt from fishing transport duty are economy cars fitted with oversized mufflers. Furthurmore owners of said vehicles fitted with aerodynamic wings should be reconsidered as fishing companions.

Man Law #--
Under penalty of ridicule, no vehicle, regardless of value shall be exempt from gravel roads/muddy roads.
Said vehicle, shall perform transport duty as any other. Transport duty is defined as:

Transportation to fishing destination, as close as possible regardless of road conditions.
Transportation to second fishing destnation (without complete removal of waders and or wading boots).
Return. Vehicles returning without mud, gravel chips and/or peculiar odors should be considered suspicious.

During said transport it is recommended that all gravel roads be approached at a very high rate of speed, regardless of conditions with an expression of exhuberance from the driver.

An orange '69 Charger would be a desirable vehicle for said purpose.

[Steve S.]

Transportation to second fishing destnation (without complete removal of waders and or wading boots).

LOL! How many of us do this? Putting the waders on and taking them off once a day is plenty for me. Maybe this could be another man law?

[jamie shard]

LOL! How many of us do this? Putting the waders on and taking them off once a day is plenty for me. Maybe this could be another man law?

Heh, yeah I keep them on... pull em down so they don't hit the seat. My big fear is if the car should burst into flames, I'd have to run away with neoprene waders around my knees I live on the edge.

[Tim Smith]

LOL! How many of us do this? Putting the waders on and taking them off once a day is plenty for me. Maybe this could be another man law?

How's this...

Upon returning to a fishing companion's vehicle with wet waders and the intention of driving to another fishing location nearby, man shall avoid creating a wet spot on the seat by pushing his waders down to his knees. A variance is granted for vehicles with a peculiar smell.

[Steve S.]

Law # 22:

A bass that has been hooked, reeled in, lipped, and released is considered a CATCH. Follows, jump offs, long distance releases, and touches do not count and NOBODY CARES.

Law # 23:

Under no circumstances shall a net be used on a bass. Lipping a bass to confirm the catch is part of the sport of bass fishing. This law applies to all aspects of bass fishing -- even when fishing from a boat. If you're scared to lip a bass due to the possibility of being hooked, stay home and play with your Barbies.

MAN LAW

You crack me up!

[jamie shard]

A variance is granted for vehicles with a peculiar smell.

Some cars smell better if you splash a little river water on them

[Jim J]

Rich,

Since it was my post (but not my original idea) I am editor and final Grand Pubah of this list.

My apologies upfront for those of you who don't make the cut.
I am the final arbiter of this list.

Since I didn’t put up parameters, here are some:

Succinctness, length, and humor are all considerations.

“Inside” Laws will not be considered.

More as I think of them….

[Jim J]

I got a new Festivus tree on a closeout last season and can't wait to put it up.

[jude]

#24: Complaints about the weather will NOT be tolerated.

I just read the best hard core fisherman line ever on another board: "I just hope it's raining hard enough to keep the guides from freezin up."